What Can I Do When My Spiritual Life Feels Dry and Boring, and I Feel Like I Am Only “Going Through the Motions” of Practicing My Faith?
This condition is a description of a classic case of spiritual desolation. Here is how the great spiritual master, St. Ignatius of Loyola, defines this desolation:
I call desolation everything contrary to the consolation explained in the third rule, such as darkness of soul, disturbance in it, movement to things low and earthly, the unquiet of different agitations and temptations, moving to lack of confidence, without hope, without love, when one finds oneself all lazy, tepid, sad, and as if separated from his Creator and Lord. Because, as consolation is contrary to desolation, in the same way the thoughts which come from consolation are contrary to the thoughts which come from desolation.1
Although God can (and sometimes does) give desolation in order to test even a very holy soul, the most usual reason for desolation is because of the person’s sins and his negligence in his spiritual duties.
Here is St. Ignatius’ advice for the person in desolation:
Although in desolation we ought not to change our good resolutions, it is very helpful to intensify our good efforts against the temptations that come during desolation, by insisting more on prayer, meditation, on much examination, and more penance.2
We can do this – viz., intensify our good efforts – even when we are in desolation! And God will help us!
How
Can I Make Spiritual Progress?
So how does one advance in the spiritual life? Well, there are a lot of very important parts of this program. And we should strongly desire to make great efforts to attain spiritual progress. Our future happiness is determined by this progress in the spiritual life. The greater a person’s future holiness is, the greater will be his future happiness.
The secret of holiness is a person’s generosity with God. If a person asks himself: “What do I need to do to avoid sin and hell?”, that is a stingy goal! Looking at things that way, the spiritual life is a burden and most people fail (and go to Hell) because they aim so low and the result is even lower.
The spiritual life is Divine Friendship3 and so we should seek to be generous with our Divine Friend. We don’t have to feel generous but nonetheless we should resolve with our will to be generous.
How many times has a parent done what he should do (such as take care of a sick child in the middle of the night), not because of feelings, but because of a will to do good! That is how our love and friendship with Christ should be – generous and willed by us regardless of feelings.
Remember, sin is an offense against our Divine Friend Whom we should never want to offend! Therefore, we must avoid occasions of sin, including persons who make it more likely that we will sin. We humans easily fool ourselves and have many excuses to continue to expose ourselves to our past occasions of sin. We must be unshakably firm in avoiding bad companions and other occasions of sin.
We should associate with persons who will influence us with greater generosity toward our Divine Friend! We should avoid persons who influence us toward greater ease, less sacrifice, and less generosity with Christ our Lord. Even if such people do not explicitly lead us into sin, their influence on us is “in the wrong direction” and that fact makes them bad for us.
We must pray more4 – much more – every day – especially when we are in desolation. We should especially pray the rosary5 – ideally all 15 decades every day. We should implement a daily meditation.6
We must avoid bad music. We should not watch TV, movies or use the internet for entertainment. We should avoid most things on the internet, especially “social media”.7 Even aside from the many sins involved, these weaken us and make the spiritual life (and prayer) distasteful to us.
We should avoid “smart” phone use as much as we can. If we must use a “smart” phone, we should use it only for necessary tasks. We should not scroll or shop on our phone as a form of “recreation”.
We should study our Catholic Faith every day. We should do some spiritual reading every day without fail, e.g., a chapter from the Imitation of Christ.
Do some extra penances every day. A generous amount! Three really good ones are to take totally-cold showers, don’t eat in-between meals, and abstain from junk food, desserts and alcohol, especially outside of social occasions and when we are alone.8
Again, Dear Reader, we can do this! God will help!
1
Quoted
from Spiritual
Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola,
Rule #4 for the Discernment of Spirits, First Week.
2 Quoted from Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, Rule #6 for the Discernment of Spirits, First Week.
3 This all-important love of God is Divine Friendship. Here is how St. Thomas Aquinas, greatest Doctor of the Church, explains this truth:
It is written (John 15:15): “I will not now call you servants . . . but My friends.” Now this was said to them by reason of nothing else than charity. Therefore, charity is friendship. …
According to the Philosopher (Ethic. viii, 2,3), not every love has the character of friendship, but that love which is together with benevolence, when, to wit, we love someone so as to wish good to him. If, however, we do not wish good to what we love, but wish its good for ourselves, (thus we are said to love wine, or a horse, or the like), it is love not of friendship, but of a kind of concupiscence [i.e., the seeking of the pleasures of the senses]. For it would be absurd to speak of having friendship for wine or for a horse.
Yet, neither does well-wishing suffice for friendship, for a certain mutual love is requisite, since friendship is between friend and friend: and this well-wishing is founded on some kind of communication.
Accordingly, since there is a communication between man and God, inasmuch as He communicates His happiness to us, some kind of friendship must needs be based on this same communication, of which it is written (1 Corinthians 1:9): “God is faithful: by Whom you are called unto the fellowship of His Son.” The love which is based on this communication, is charity: wherefore it is evident that charity is the friendship of man for God.
Summa, IIa IIae, Q.23, a.1, sed contra and respondeo (emphasis added).
4
Here is a brief explanation about what prayer is essentially:
https://catholiccandle.org/2024/08/10/cc-in-brief-essence-of-prayer/
5 Read this article about how to properly pray the rosary: https://catholiccandle.org/2019/12/23/the-rosary-how-why/
6 Here is a brief explanation about how to do a meditation and why it is important to mediate: https://catholiccandle.org/2021/09/03/lesson-2-meditation-how-why/
7
Read this article, especially the section about social media:
https://catholiccandle.org/2023/12/12/the-connection-between-virtue-and-happiness-part-2/
There are many noxious effects of “social media”. It is very unwholesome, is unsocial, and fosters the antithesis of real, deep friendship (especially a profound friendship with God – which is our reason for living).
Beyond the very obvious mortal sins which are virtually everywhere on the internet, e.g., sins against the holy virtue of purity, additionally the sins of worldliness, superficiality, immodesty, time-wasting, and many other types of sin are endemic and pervasive there. This is evident to faithful and informed Catholics whose goal is to live every day the way that, at their judgment they would want to have lived.
Of course, there are countless mainstream studies also, which discover what faithful and informed Catholics already know, viz., that “social media” makes a person unhappier and more isolated. Here are just a few of those mainstream studies:
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https://mitsloan.mit.edu/ideas-made-to-matter/study-social-media-use-linked-to-decline-mental-health
Lastly, the Government and Big Tech use “social media” (and many other activities on the internet) to spy on us and to amass huge dossiers on us for their future commercial exploitation and political use against us. Here is a small sampling of articles on this subject:
8 Read this article about the ideal penance of not eating for pleasure when you are alone: https://catholiccandle.neocities.org/faith/the-spiritual-benefits-of-not-consuming-sweets-and-junkfood-when-you-are-alone